Friday, January 06, 2006

I've Gone Bananas!

I've eaten many a banana in my day. I used to love Tarzan movies and I'd eat bananas as a way to be simpatico with him or maybe it was with Cheeta! I also ate "bread balls" and beans when I was in my Roy Rogers phase, but that's another story for another day.

Anyway, when you buy bananas at the store they look like this.

Then, within 20 minutes it seems, they look like this! You can't refrigerate them and I don't care where in my kitchen I put them, they end up looking black and ucky too soon.

But what really gets me is the peel. It could be the most perfect container in the world except for the blasted, nasty, bitter string things!

What's up with that? Why can't A&M or someone come up with stringless bananas? What good are the strings anyway? What purpose do they serve except to annoy and disgust? If I was the President, I'd spend all kinds of resources on ridding the world of banana strings! Cut The Strings and Free Toilet Paper For All would be my dadgum campaign slogan!

1 comment:

RickO. said...

Ah, yes, bananas. Proof that there must be a god! I eat two a day myself. Here's a little snigglet someone emailed me about bananas, and it is in my all time cool emails file! (with about 45 of it's freinds, mostly jokes)

I dunno how much is true, but it all sounds so good:

After reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again!

Bananas: Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and
glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and
substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for
a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one
fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can
also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and
conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst
people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a
banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein
that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve
your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills -- eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains
regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of
hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium
yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure.
So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration
has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the
fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham
(Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year
by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost
their brain power Research has shown that the potassium-packed
fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help
restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without
resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make
a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach
and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels,
while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if
you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep
blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try
rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it
amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in
Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on
comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital
patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in
high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced
food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on
high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal
disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only
raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It
also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the
lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling"
fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of
expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat
bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD
sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking.
The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them,
help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the
heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water
balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby
reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of
a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New
England Journal of Medicine, "eating bananas as part of a regular
diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare
it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates,
three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and
twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is
one of the best value foods around.

So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say,
"A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
You might want to pass this tidbit to your friends!!!!