Connie Sue Needs YOU!

Give a gal a buck or two, please!

The gal is Connie and her mom is my best friend and if you can believe it, Connie is doing a walk for breast cancer research that will cost HER $1800 at the completion of the walk! She needs all the pledges she can raise to help pay for that tab!

TIA for any help you send her way!

Have a great, safe day!

Confederate Memorial Day in Texas

One of life's little ironies is that today in Texas is Confederate Memorial Day .....

Confederate Memorial Day

and MLK day too.

Now anyone who's got a brain and lives in Texas or the deep South KNOWS that the Confederate flag is not a symbol of hate like far too many believe. And this day is not a celebration as much as a rememberance of the soldiers who died fighting for the Confederate States of America during the American Civil War (1861-1865). It is a state holiday in some parts of the United States. That date varies from state to state, but it tickles my funny bone that today is also MLK day.




My own personal family irony is that we had kinfolk on both sides of the Civil War. My Great Grandfather Lucius Herbert Burdick's role in the Union army is detailed below:

Lucius Herbert Burdick served in the Civil War. He enrolled August 25, 1862, at Emporia, Kansas and was mustered into service at Fort Leavenworth, September 12, 1862, as a private, Company E, 11th. Kansas Volunteers. He was promoted to 2nd. Lieutenant at Benton Barracks, Missouri, Company H, 65th U. S. Colored Infantry, January 19, 1864. He transferred to Company B, November 4, 1864, then to Company F, same regiment, August 15, 1865, and became 1st. Lieutenant August 25, 1865, at Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He was mustered out of service January 8, 1867, at Baton Rogue as 1st. Lieutenant, Co. F, 65th. U. S. Colored Infantry.


SIXTY-FIFTH REGIMENT
The Sixty-Fifth Regiment was organized at Benton barracks, Missouri, from December 18, 1863, to January 16, 1864, as the 2nd regiment Missouri volunteers to serve three years. Its designation was changed to 65th regiment U. S. colored troops March 11, 1864. The 67th regiment U. S. colored troops was consolidated with it July 12, 1865. It was mustered out of service January 8, 1867. The Colonel was Alonzo J. Edgerton; Lieutenant Colonel, George Baldey, a. w. m.; Major, Francis Moore; Captains: Alexander D. Bailie, Jesse W. Palmer, John L. Frost, Thomas Montgomery, Judson W. Read, William N. Darnell, Albert F. Hunt, William P. Deming; First Lieutenants: Abnew Doane, Henry S. Wadsworth, William P. Wiley, Felix Sprochule, Oscar H. Violet, Lucius H. Burdick, Lysander S. Butler, Duran F. Kelley, William P. Aben, Charles B. Hutchins, James G. Vincent, Lewis Merriam; Second Lieutenants: none; Surgeon, John Fish; and Assistant Surgeon, David Stevens.

THE EXPERIMENT
The use of colored troops was an experiment to which the Administration had been driven partly by the demands of the abolitionists and partly by sheer desperation, the supply of white manpower having slackened. The implications of this experiment were faced by few people, and there probably would be time enough to worry about them after the war had been won. At the moment the great riddle was whether it was possible to turn colored men into good soldiers.

Most of the ex-slaves were illiterate, used to servile obedience, and living (presumably) in deep awe of Southern white men. They were husky enough, and yet they somehow lacked physical sturdiness and endurance, and they had been held at the bottom of the heap for so long that they seemed to be excessively long-suffering by nature. Somewhere, far back in dim tribal memories, there may have been traditions of war parties and fighting and desperate combat, but these had been overlaid by generation of slavery, and most colored folks saw themselves as pilgrims toiling up the endless slopes of heartbreak hill - - pilgrims whose survival depended on the patient, uncomplaining acceptance of evil rather than on a bold struggle to overthrow evil.

That was the sticking point. The average Northern white man of that era might refuse to associate with the Negro and hold himself to be immeasurably the Negro's superior - - the superiority, of course, grew out of the natural order of things, and need not actually be proved - - but there was a war on and the country needed soldiers, and if Federal corpses were the price of victory, it hardly paid to be finicky about the original color of the corpses' skins. The real trouble lay in the assumption that while it was all right to let the Negro get shot it was foolish to expect him to do any serious fighting first.

A young officer who left his place in a white regiment to become colonel of a colored regiment was frankly told by a staff officer that “we do not want any nigger soldiers in the Army of the Potomac,” and his general took him aside to say: “I am sorry that you are going to serve with Negroes. I think it is a disgrace to the army to make soldiers of them.” The general added that he felt this way because he was sure that colored soldiers just would not fight.

Most men felt the same way. In support of the belief it was pointed out that in many years of American bondage there had never been a really serious slave revolt. Even John Brown himself, carrying fire and sword below the Potomac, had been able to recruit no more than a dazed corporal's guard of colored followers. Surely this proved that even though slaves might not be happy with their lot they had no real combativeness in them?

FLAWS IN THE ARGUMENT
There might be flaws in the argument. It quite overlooked the fact that for many years the fabulous underground railroad had been relieving the explosive deterrent to slave revolt, for it took out of slavery precisely the daring, energetic, intelligent slaves who might have planned and let an uprising if they had been unable to escape. The argument also overlooked the fact that if American slaves rarely made any trouble the people who owned them were always mortally afraid that they would do so some day. The gloomy island of Haiti was not far enough away to let anyone forget that black men there had risen in one of the most bloody, desperate revolts in human history, winning their own freedom and practically annihilating the master race in the process. Oddly enough the general belief that colored men would not fight ran parallel with a conviction that they would fight with primitive viciousness if they ever got a chance.

Yet whatever prejudice might say, the hard fact now was that colored men were being enlisted as soldiers in large numbers and that there were times when it was impossible to avoid using them in combat. (The American Heritage Picture History of The Civil War, pp. 418-419.)

To this move the soldiers made a good deal of objection - - at first. Then they began to change their minds. They did not like Negroes, for race prejudice of a malignity rarely seen today was very prevalent in the North at that time, and they did not want to associate with them on anything remotely like terms of equality, but they came to see that much might be said for Negro regiments. For one thing, a great many enlisted men in the Northern armies could win officers' commissions in these regiments, and a high private who saw a chance to become a lieutenant or a captain was likely to lose a great deal of his antagonism to the notion of Negro soldiers. More importantly than this was the dawning realization that the colored soldiers could stop a Rebel bullet just as well as a white soldier could, and when he did so, some white soldiers who would otherwise have died would go on living. . . And so by the middle of 1863 the North was raising numbers of Negro regiments, and the white soldiers who had been so bitter about the idea adjusted themselves rapidly.

It seemed logical, after a time, to raise guard detachments from among the Negroes themselves, outfitting them with castoff army uniforms. Then it appeared that the immense reserve might be put to more direct use, and at last the government authorized, and even encouraged, the organization of Negro regiments, to be officered by whites but to be regarded as troops of the line, available for combat duty if needed. (Bruce Catton's Civil War, pp. 592-598.)

OFFICERED BY WHITE MEN
All of the colored troops were officered by white men, and these white officers listened, fascinated, to the campfire singing, and when they wrote about it they tried to tell why it moved them so deeply.

From the beginning it was realized that the effectiveness of colored troops would depend largely on the way the regiments were officered, and what would now be called officer-candidate school was set up in Philadelphia. Non-commissioned officers and privates in the Army of the Potomac could apply for admission to this school, and if recommended by their own officers and approved by an examining board they would get thirty days of training and then would be commissioned to command colored soldiers. The rank and file seems to have been of two minds about this arrangement. Some felt that it was a good idea, that the standards were high and the training thorough - - one man said he knew colonels in white regiments who could not get an examining board recommendation for a second lieutenancy - - but others believed that the examinations and instructions “were not practical, but scholastic and theoretical,” and that most of the men who commissioned were not up to their jobs.

Certain it was that these strange new regiments needed good leadership. They were reluctant to take orders from non-coms of their own color -- it was common to hear the complaint, “I don't want him to play de white man over me” -- and a company commander had to be careful to treat his sergeants with formal military courtesy, always addressing them by their titles and in general following precise Regular Army routine. The colored enlisted man who had a complaint or a problem was quite likely to try to by-pass his company officers and go direct to his colonel; and one of the colonels meditated on the reason for this: “The Negroes have acquired such a constitutional distrust of white people that it is perhaps as much as they can do to trust more than one person at a time.” He added that in training and disciplining the men it was vital “to make them feel as remote as possible from the plantation,” and that the habit of obedience was worthless unless the officer managed to instill a stout feeling of self-respect along with it. An officer of polished manners could do better with colored troops than with white volunteers, who preferred a certain roughness of manner in their officers.

COLORED MADE EXCELLENT SOLDIERS
In camp, the colored men made excellent soldiers. They picked up the drill quickly, learning it more easily than white recruits did. Some of the ordinary problems of army discipline seemed to be non-existent. Desertion was utterly unknown, and there was very little drunkenness. The men especially enjoyed practice on the target range.

As a general thing the Negro soldiers seemed to hold very little personal animus against their former masters. A white officer discovered, rather to his surprise, that they had neither hatred nor affection for the men who used to own them. They never mentioned their masters except as natural enemies, yet it was the class they hated, not the individuals in the class. They saw slavery, said this man, as “a wrong which no special kindness could right.”

All told, the Federals put more than 150,000 Negroes into uniform. Many of these regiments were used only for garrison duty, and in many other cases the army saw to it that the colored regiments became little more than permanent fatigue details to relieve white soldiers of hard work, but some units saw actual combat service and in a number of instances acquitted themselves well.
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Other links of interest:

U. S. Colored Troops
Facts About U. S. Colored Troops


So all I can say is, whoever you honor today, I hope you go out and make this day a good one!

Date Nut Cake - My Christmas Tradition

One of the good things about having your own blog is that you can decide what goes into it. I like to use it as sort of a giant notepad sometimes.

This time I'm going to part with a closely guarded secret recipe for my momma's Date Nut Cake. She always made one or more at Christmas time and it's my favorite holiday cake. It brings back only good memories for me.

I learned how to make the cake like my momma used to by trial and error and this is the delicious result:

1 package dates, I like them already chopped
1 cup raisins, you probably don't have to add this if you don't like them, but then don't complain to me if the cake doesn't taste like mine!
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c Crisco (I'm Southern so it's GOT to be Crisco shortening)
2 c flour
2 eggs
1 c pecans (Again don't add them if you don't want to, but it's not going to be like mine!)
1 tsp soda
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon (For some reason you HAVE TO have this ingredient)

I think it's better to use a stand mixer, but if you don't have one, I guess you can beat the livin' poop out of it by hand.

First you put the dates and the raisins in a bowl and sprinkle the tsp of soda over them and then add 2 cups of boiling water. Let this mixture cool before continuing.

Preheat over to 350 degrees
Grease and flour a 13x9 pan or if you want it to be like my momma's, use a large Pyrex oblong

In a small bowl, mix together flour, salt and cinnamon
In a large bowl beat sugar and shortening until well blended, adding eggs one at a time. Start adding flour mixture by large spoonfuls and equal amounts of the date mixture until both are combined and mixed well. Add the nuts and blend in. I like to use coarsely chopped pecans, as one of the comfort part of this recipe is the way pecans taste when they are cooked! I reckon you could use walnuts too, but, again, being Southern it's pecans for me always.

Pour into the pan and bake until done. If you need a hint, it's approximately 45-50 minutes in the metal pan or 40-45 in the Pyrex. It's important that you cook it until it's really, really well done or it's kinda strange in the middle....not bad, just not normal. The one I made before Christmas was not done quite enough even though I'd poked a toothpick in the middle and it came out clean. I should of let it cook a few more minutes. You're the best judge of how long though because you know your own oven and such.

If you want to get fancy you could cool that puppy down and put some powdered sugar on it or do something with whipped cream, etc. Me, I like to cut it into nice size pieces and store it in an air tight container. After a day or so you'll most likely want to keep it in the refrigerator just in case as it's not loaded with preservatives like store bought stuff!

I've got one cooking in the oven even as I type and I'm so looking forward to enjoying it one more time before my Christmas kitchen is officially closed for the season!

Relatives Online!

My niece sent me a link to her new blog! It's very good too, but I knew it would be because she's related to me! I'm kidding!!
She's very good at what she does and well respected by those that she works with. What more can anyone ask of life that to be a positive force for others?

Check out CJ Social Worker and tell her I sent you!

Another Year, Another Tear

I've been doing real good (that's "East Texas" for 'very well') with this whole grief thing. I mean, come on, it's ELEVEN YEARS. You can't be blue all the time and most of the time I'm fine. But this time of the year it creeps up on me and bites me in the butt when I least expect it.

I've been purposely keeping busy so's not to give myself the opportunity to get sad, but tonight I was watching a made for Christmas Hallmark tear-jerker and damn if it didn't jerk me around until my tear damn busted wide open. I got to crying and didn't stop for too long a time.

It's important to let go from time to time. You can't deny either the love that was lost or the grief that never dies...it just lies beneath the surface like molten lava waiting for that tiny crack in the emotional layer so it can spew forth and cover all it sees.

I'll be fine. I'll pick myself and dust myself off and get back in the fast lane for another year. The whole act of writing it down here helps me cope. I've got quite a list now for my copeability. I'm not sure that's a real word, but it ought to be if it isn't because it describes the process to a T.

Remembering my sweetie. Missing him still. Wishing if he had to go why it couldn't of been in June or September...why did it have to be December 17?

A Single Dove
November 22, 2006
Remembering December 1996
Do You Believe In Angels?

Bragging On My Kids

We’ve all gotten those Christmas card letters that are chocked full of all the good news from folks mostly bragging about their kids and their accomplishments and where they went on vacations, etc. Well if you hate reading those letters then stop now because this post is going to be in a similar vein.

I’ve been blessed with three beautiful girls. ‘Course they aren’t girls anymore, now they are women! They’ll always be my babies though no matter how old they get. My youngest, the actual baby of the bunch, gets crazy when I call her my baby. She’s been known to go “waa, waa, waa” in response. I can’t help myself though….when you carry someone inside of you for 9 months you get attached to them and think of them as your baby. "It’s a fact, you can look it up".

My first born baby is a hospice nurse. She’s been a nurse for 11 or so years. She’s worked mostly with the retarded and Alzheimer and dementia patents and for several years now she’s worked hospice. She says her job is to make someone’s last days as comfortable as possible and her the other concern is helping the family to cope with the inevitable. She amazes me for the things she deals with on a daily basis. I’m the original “feet don’t fail me now” gal when it comes to death and dying. I have to grit my teeth to attend funerals! I’m a total klutz when it comes to hospital visits. I’m the type that will trip over the IV tube or step on the bag that holds all the urine! I tell my daughter all the time that she didn’t get “that” from me. She loves her job even when she's on call and a quart low on sleep. I’m so proud of her and admire her so much!

My middle daughter is gifted. She is an artist. She sees things that I don’t. I can’t explain it since I can’t see it the way she does, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the eye of the artist is crafted differently than the eye of the rest of us. She recently had four of her painting on display and sold two of them for 5 bills each! She blew it off as her rightly due, but I was over the moon with joy and awe. Like most artists those pictures are not just her work they are HER babies. She loves each one and can recall the motivation and feelings that led to their birth. I think on the one hand she’s thrilled to make the money and the acknowledgement that someone other than her family values her work, but it’s got to be hard to cut that invisible umbilical cord and know that painting is “lost” to you forever. The good part is that there’s plenty more where that one came from. She’s certainly not a factory, but the way this gift works is the more you create the more you can create. I’m so proud of her and admire her so much!

My youngest daughter aka “the baby” is talking to “me” even as I type. She’s coming across loud and clear on my Bearcat scanner. She’s in training as one of HPD’s newest dispatchers. ‘Course they don’t call them “dispatchers” officially….but that’s what they are. She’s only been training for 9 days and she sounds GREAT to me. She sounds exactly like all the other dispatchers! And by that I mean like she’d been broadcasting for years and years. She says there’s a tremendous amount to learn and she has to read so much her eyes are tired, but I know she’s also excited to be learning something new. From what I can see, HPD does a bang up job of training folks too.....its not like she's the first one to go through the system. They are still hiring too! Check it out. The chance for advancement is far more reachable at this job than any of the other jobs she’s ever had. Better pay, better benefits and more interesting work are all the reasons why she’s happy to be working for the city. I’m so proud of her and admire her so much!