A Wiki of Dicks!

I was searching for Roger Clemens to be sure I was spelling his name right and you'll never guess what I found!

Roger Clemens - Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks!

This is a GREAT site! They've got Political dicks, Entertainment dicks, International dicks, Sports dicks, Media dicks and Miscellaneous dicks! I've known a few of the latter in my time.

This is more fun than the Star!

Check it out! It's like walking down the isles at an organ bank or something!

My Thoughts On The 2007 World Series

Well, for starters, dadgumit sure would of liked it better if the Astros were in the race, but maybe again before I'm dead and buried they'll make it back and make a better showing than their other appearance....

I'm sitting here watching the Boston Red Sox beat the livin' pook out of the Angels AGAIN and I think it's pretty clear to everyone including George (the meanest man in the world) Steinbrenner that it's going to be Boston vs Colorado for the whole enchilada this year.

That's okay by me. All I've ever said was so long as it's NOT the Yankees, who really gives a rodent's hind end....

I do. I've been wanting Colorado to win because I've got kinfolk in Colorado. I've also got a friend near Boston and she's a large Sox fan so that makes it tough. I'm not pulling for either team exactly, but I sure do like Josh Beckett. My first born knows him, sort of, and she said he's a real great guy...can't get into the details, but suffice to say he's got a lot of love in his heart for his family. May the best team win and hopefully the winner will be the best team...

I'm thinking this is going to be a very exciting baseball classic and the best team will prevail.

Now I'm going to kick back and watch the Yanks get beat. Come on Indians, make Roger earn all that dough!

Biggio's Farewell - Favorite Photo

This guy was my kind of fan! And this is one of my favorite photos that I took Sunday, September 30, the day that Craig hung it up, cleaned out his locker and took home a piece of all of our hearts.

It was a sad day for the Astros fans, but we'll always have our memories of the way the game was played by Craig Biggio and that we were lucky to have witnessed it!

What I Hate About Minute Maid Park!

Thanks to my best friend Paula and her lovely husband Larry, I get to go to Minute Maid Park a LOT and if you are around something long enough it starts to bug you. Or at least it starts to bug ME, so in an effort to soothe myself I'll list the gripes....to wit....

1) The beer sellers and other peddlers are just too much. I think it might be just isle 113, but I'm not sure. I do KNOW they come down that isle in droves. About 4 or 5 DIFFERENT beer sellers come one right after the other and they don't just scream BEER/WATER at the top of their lungs, they stand in the isle and block the view(s). Naturally they spot the ones drinking beer and that is like chum to a shark. They KNOW if you drink ONE you're going to just keep on buying until Last Call so they just keep circlin'.

So how would *I* fix it?

I'd do like they do to wrecker drivers. Give them a chip and then let the folks in the red shirts pick ONE and that ONE would be allowed to peddle on THAT isle or maybe that isle and a couple on either side of it. Better yet would be that one isle and assign them another isle clear across the stadium so it'd take them some time to get there and back. Brilliant!

See it's not just the beers sellers. They also have the frozen lemonade (Minute Maid, of course!) sellers, the Peanut Man (who's pretty cool and really more fun than irritating, so, okay, he can stay), the giant 'Rita with the little-or-no-alcohol so-why-would-anyone-buy-one? sellers, the cotton candy and assorted memorabilia pushers and I'm probably forgetting one or more of them. Ever so often you get the hot dog sellers, but not that much 'cause most folks go get their own which is a good idea for ALL that stuff except maybe the beer 'cause then they buy it in open cups and spill half of it before they get seated again.

Oh and the really, really irritating part is that they hold up these little stop signs to keep the fans from running down the isles while folks are batting and yet they don't stop the peddlers from doing the same thing!

2) My 2nd biggest gripe is the give-aways. Now they have done a tremendous job this year of HOW they give stuff out, but why oh why do the sponsors give out 10,000 of something knowing that 20k plus are going to be upset THEY didn't get one? We'd get there way early and always got whatever it was being given away, but that's not the point. It's like if you bought one super good toy at Christmas and had 3 or 4 kids and the first one in the den got it. Well you can imagine the angst that would ensue!

3) My final gripe (at this time!) is about sound. They like to play stuff on the big screen and some of it like the 1 minute player to player interviews are cool except that you can't hear what's being said....probably because some half dozen beer sellers are screaming all around you! Turn up the volume on the teevee and shut the sellers up!

I've also got a similar gripe with FSN when they have the after game autopsy questions and answers by the team manager and you can only hear HIM and not the questions and he's not about to respond by repeating the question so it's like...

Manager: Yes, I do.

blah, blah, blah

Manager: That's not a bad idea. We might implement that some time in the future.

You get the drift. Can't blame THAT one on the beer peddlers.

See if Drayton sat in the real seats he'd know this stuff. He sits in his ultra cool, got their own wait staff assigned, no peddlers yelling in HIS ear or blocking HIS view seats and could care less what the rest of the fans are going through.

Thank God For Craig Biggio!

This is what I just cut and pasted from the Houston Chronicle...

The Astros lost their second game in a row to finish their road trip at 2-4 and fell to 20-38 on the road, the worst road record in the National League.

We finally got to be first at something.

First in worse.

Woe is me.

Er....make that woe is them! I'm doing swell and always enjoy the games when I get to go see them live and in person.

My oldest bro is still waiting for the miracle comeback of 2007. I'm waiting for Spring Training 2008!

I did manage to upload some pictures I took at the last game I attended. Check 'em out at my Smugmug gallery.

Houston Astros: Assorted Observations

It's been tough watching "the boys" this year. They have certainly NOT lived up to their potential. There have been glimpses of what could of been and the entire BGO phenom brought tears to my tired old eyes more than once. In that once grand baseball land of old he would of been just as bright a star back then as he is today.....not just in Houston, but anywhere there are fans of the game. Fans that applaud not just the un-drug use, but his sheer talent, grit and determination. Craig Biggio makes "Charlie Hustle" look like he was asleep on the basepads! Rose was a slacker compared to Craigy!

Perhaps one of the most distressing pages written in the Astros book of 2007 will feature my own personal fav Lance Berkman. I firmly believe that the old Lance is still in there and he's just having an off year. I think it's some kind of Sophomore jinx thingee. Even though he's been an Astros since 1999, he signed that big contract and I think that put the skids of him for some reason. This too shall pass. He has more strength in his Big Toe than anyone else on the team outside of Senor Lee.

NOW what I really wanted to talk about!

Sex appeal! Buns! Babes! Even HAIR!

The Houston Astros are the best lookin' bunch of males assembled in one dugout on the planet. Hands down. Bar none. Hubba-hubba!

Lance is adorable! Pence is just like a big lovable puppy! He's all arms and legs in the teenage stage, but he's got that same Craig/Rose spark of talent and he knows how to play The Game. He's a student of the sport as well and you can see him studying Biggio and learning every day. And not just Biggio, he's open to any ways to improve his game. Lord I hope he isn't traded off or lost to free agency. He can easily be the cornerstone of the Astros future. I'm going to take the high road and only allude to the length of his arms, legs, fingers, nose and the ultimate speculation of whether or not the unseen parts of him are as impressive! What a catch for some lucky coed!

But I digress. This is about buns! Craig's got a good set in his own right. So what he's over 40, he's still got IT. I love the way his face lights up when he smiles too.

Then there's Luke Scott's hair! Absolutely gorgeous! I sure hope male pattern baldness doesn't run in his family because he just wouldn't be the same without ALL that beautiful hair!

Brad Ausmus is another cutie! Plus he's funny and smart. That's an almost lethal combo! His smile is devastating!

Adam Everett is soooo adorable! I think every female with a pulse wanted to kiss it and make it all better when Lee plunked his great arse down on Adam's leg bone and snapped it like a twig! It was a sight I hope never to see again!

Roy O - great butt! Carlos Lee - nice smile, beautiful completion, really well built! Brade Lidge - also a nice tight one and poise under extreme pressure makes him sexy as hell! I just wish he'd quit growing weird hair clusters on his face! Chris Sampson - one of the best lookin' pitchers on the mound on any team! And just as nice as he is talented! The list goes on, but my back grows weary from sitting here slumped over the keyboard. Much less the constant drool is endangering that same keyboard!

Bottom line - love 'em! Love their bottoms! Love their muscles! Love their smiles! Love to see them showing off their God given talents! Love knowing they ARE The Good Guys. They are all God fearing, flag waving, morally fit and mentally sound and C U T E to boot!

Why Do They Jack With Tradition?

This is not a world shaking issue. It's probably more a personal observation, but if this blog isn't for me to vent then what good is it? (Don't answer that! It was rhetorical, honest!)

Anyway this one is about the folks that are empowered to sing the National Anthem at such events as the Astro's ballgames at Minute Maid Park. I've been privileged to see a LOT of games over the years (thanks, Paula and Larry!) and it's gotten worse. I don't like the Anthem f*cked with! Sing it like it's supposed to be sung, don't go throw in all that jazzy, saloon style ebbs and flows. It's not hip-hop, it's not rap, it's not rock! I don't know squat about music or singing, but like art, I sure as hell know what I like and some of "them" make me cringe with their vocal embroidery!

I'd rather Papa Drayton played a CD or something rather than to turn some of these folks loose on the unsuspecting patriotic traditionalist like me. There was one a few weeks back that made me beg for Roseanne Barr's rendition over her own and that's just wrong! I got it when Roseanne did her thing....it WAS funny and she got slammed because that's not the time nor the place to be funny. I got that too.

I also get it that these folks take the opportunity to heart..this is their moment, this is their chance to show off their artistic ability.....fine and good......do it at home! Do it in the shower like the rest of us! Do it on a CD and see if anyone buys it! Don't do it where we are forced to stand at attention, hands over hearts, hats in hands, trapped and at the mercy of any yoyo that decides to "improve" the National Anthem of the greatest country on Earth.

'Nuff said.


Star-Mangled Banner

Oh Say, Can't You Sing: Celebs Who Tortured the National Anthem

Roger, McAfee, WL and me

ROGER
Did it come as a surprise to anyone that Roger wasn't coming back to Houston this year? The Astros didn't perform up to his expectations....end of story. He'd rather go with a contender and everyone knows the Yankees have won the World Series for the past 20 years, give or take a decade or so. No bigee, we can do it without him, or not. It's not the end of the world either way. Roger was fun to watch and probably the only player I'll ever see who has the fans convinced they are seeing his last game every time he pitches. Damn I saw TWO of his last games just last year! I was glad to see the tease act come to a end too. As with all hookers, the big boy had to either put up or shut up sooner or later. Good luck to him.

McAfee Security
I hate McAfee. I thought I hated Norton, but not the with unrelenting passion that I hate McAfee! Why are you even running it if you hate it you ask? Well, because I just bought myself a new computer and it was included for THREE years. I figure after putzing around with it for a couple of weeks now trying to get it to work like *I* want it and not like *it* wants to that in 3 years I'll be an even worse basket case than I am now! Hasta la vista, Mac! I'm going back to my tried and true that does what I want when I want. You can't even easily turn off Mc when you need to during an installation...it's a big deal to do anything and then it constantly nags you.

There's probably ways around all that. I probably haven't read enough or asked enough sources for help. God knows I haven't contacted the tech folks there and I won't. I'm not a total boob when it comes to these things and if I can't make it work, then I don't want it around. I've got a perfectly good AG program just languishing on my hard drive and it's fixing to get called into service. McAfee is not for me!

WLS Update
As of today I've lost 92 pounds. My surgery was 6 months ago. I've got 21 pounds more to go. I don't ever remember being this weight. The size 14 pants I'm wearing are getting loose. I still don't care for most tops that are "rated" for my size....I prefer the more comfortable looser styles if for no other reason than it hides the loose skin on my belly. A topic which I won't go into if I can help it. (Good Lord, I just used "loose" three times in one paragraph! That's a first for me too!)

So, bottom line.

We LOST Roger.

I'm LOSING McAfee.

And I've LOST a lot of weight in 11 months.

All's well in my world, I hope the same for you in yours!

Grrrrr....

I've been trying to write some stuff for awhile now....like days....and Blogger has been ailing. I thought it was something I'd done, but I got rid of what I thought was the problem and it's still quirky.

Sigh.

This is a test post. Had this been a real post it would of been absolutely brilliant. No lie, you'd all be sending me greets and flowers and candy and stuff like that. You'll just have to take my word on it though because, of course, all the brilliance that was is no more. Story of my almost never witnessed brilliant life!

BTW, the Astros are just doing great on this road trip and the tiny 2 day home stand. I wish we could bottle the joy and save some for the less thrilling days to come. And there will be less thrilling days, it's a given, you can't win them all...no matter how cool that would be.

You know, one of my kids pointed out that the Astros are the best looking ballplayers in the majors and she's right. Even scruffy old Woody has a nice butt.

Ex-Astros knuckleballer Joe Niekro dies at 61

Ex-Astros knuckleballer Joe Niekro dies at 61

Ah, shucks. Rest in peace, Joe. He was one of my favs from that era. He owned the mound and he was fun to listen to when the game was over. I don't care if he did carry a nailfile, he was good for the Astros while he pitched here. 61 is too young to die, but at least he went out quickly and hopefully never knew what hit him. That's pretty much all we can ask for when our 9 innings come to a close.

Way To Go 'Stros!

The Astros swept the Cards and I got to see it!

Roger Clemens was masterful considering he was working on only 3 days rest. Lance Berkman, my favorite Astro, had some minor adjustments to make or perhaps some equipment malfunctions. As luck would have it, I managed to capture THREE such adjustments by The Big Puma!



Hmmm....or should I say he was adjusting his big puma?

My Sports Photos Online

KHOU.com encourages fans and other assorted regular people to submit photos. I sent them some of the ones I've taken at Astros baseball games. The current crop is Mound Meeting, Behind Home Plate, Roger & The Sharpie Pen, Astro Fan From The Front and Astros Fan Sign.

I like looking at the ones other people send too. There's tons of cute ones with little kids and pets dressed up in Astros uniforms and regalia. My favorite are of some little dogs dressed up like bees!

Chronicle's Ortiz On Ozzie The Ignorant

As a rule I try and put in links to "stuff" that I want people to read, but in this case I've just got to put the whole article. It's an article about a baseball manager written by a sports writer and before you say "I don't care for sports".... it's not about sports, it's about what's right from what's wrong. It's one of the best eye opening pieces I've read in the Chronicle in a long, long while. Jose De Jesus Ortiz has written an excellent book, Houston Astros Armed and Dangerous, that's a must-have for Astros fans.


June 24, 2006, 11:23PM

BASEBALL NOTEBOOK

Guillen remains as ignorant as ever

Anti-gay slurs reveal manager's offensive behavior

By JOSE DE JESUS ORTIZ
Copyright 2006 Houston Chronicle

CHICAGO - Jackie Robinson, Roberto Clemente and Felipe Alou broke barriers and paid heavy prices while eliminating stereotypes so America could look at Latinos and African-Americans with respect. At times, they bit their tongues. On important occasions, they spoke loud and led the chorus for the rights of their people.

Because of people such as Robinson, Clemente and Alou, now we rarely ever see characters such as Buckwheat of the Our Gang movies or the hapless Latino character that you once saw in old Westerns. Robinson, Clemente and Alou are reasons their people are no longer looked upon as caricatures.

Sadly, however, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is setting his people back with his series of ignorant and vulgar rants. Free speech is not really free. Words have meaning, and stupid words can cost you in terms of reputation.

Somehow because he was given a gift to pick grounders instead of grapes, Guillen has been allowed to become a social critic. He also has been given a pass because he's Latino and most folks aren't savvy enough to call him on his lame, "well, in my country ... " defense.

He has played the Venezuelan card way too often. He has come under fire twice in the last two years for using anti-gay slurs. Both times he has claimed his comments were appropriate because in his country those slurs are used to mean coward. Actually, Ozzie, there is a word for coward in Spanish. It's cobarde, and you are one each time you throw your fellow countrymen under the bus by lowering the expectations for them. As long as we pretend we cannot hold minorities to the same standards we hold white leaders, the underlying message is that Latinos need the bar lowered for them.

If Guillen were a white male, he would have been fired or at least suspended for his comments. Ozzie, did you ever hear of Al Campanis? Marge Schott? One lost his career in baseball over ignorant comments about African-Americans. The other drew a suspension for a series of racist and anti-Semitic remarks.

Guillen drew a fine and was ordered to undergo sensitivity training for his slurs. Nobody, however, has bothered to call him on his ignorant comments against other Latino groups.

Before Game 4 of the World Series last year at Minute Maid Park, Guillen claimed Dominican-American star Alex Rodriguez wasn't Latino because he was born in this country.

He has made similar comments about Mexican-American Nomar Garciparra.

He claims that you're only Latino if you speak Spanish or if both your parents were Latino or if you were born in those countries. Those are Guillen's dangerous comments, because some in the media give him the platform to preach that ignorance.

Asked Saturday about those thoughts and if he realized just how ignorant he sounds, Guillen stuttered through his defense while defending those beliefs.

"I'm more Latino than you," was his parting shot to a Mexican-American reporter.

If Guillen wasn't given a platform, it wouldn't matter what he says. You don't get mad at your fourth-graders for ignorant comments. You just try to educate them. Great defensive skills can buy a shortstop many things in this country. It cannot buy class.

In baseball, not many men have done more for minorities in recent decades than White Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf, who has led commissioner Bud Selig's fight for diversity hiring and has the front office to prove it. For that reason, it is sad that Reinsdorf is being represented by a caricature in the manager's office.

Why is it fair for Guillen to spout ignorant statements about other Latino groups?

Because "he's Hispanic?" Reinsdorf said innocently Friday before adding. "I don't think I want to get into this."

Pressed, Reinsdorf tried to clarify.

"People are less likely to be offended when an Hispanic guy makes comments about Hispanics," he said. "Like, we tell Jewish jokes. People laugh at them. If you told a Jewish joke, people wouldn't like it."

Reinsdorf was asked if he would be offended if someone accused him of not being Jewish enough.

"No, because I ain't very Jewish," he said before chuckling. "You got to know who it's coming from. Ozzie has no mean bones in his body. He doesn't mean to offend anybody, but sometimes his mouth gets ahead of his brain. That's all it is."

There's a big difference between folks laughing with you and at you, Ozzie. Ozzie, you're not funny.

The Baseball Analysts: The Greatest Game Ever Played

The Baseball Analysts: The Greatest Game Ever Played

It means the world to Astros baseball fans (and team members!) to have Roger Clemens coming back for one more try at the World Series.

The Greatest Game Ever Played is in reference to the 17 innings affair October 9, 2005, between the Houston Astros and the Atlanta Braves. The Astros won 7 to 6.

I'll never forget seeing Roger sitting all alone in the bullpen and then taking the mound in RELIEF. It was truly a game for the ages.

Welcome home, Roger!

Throw It Back Houston: It Is Time To Make A Statement Astro Fans....

Throw It Back Houston: It Is Time To Make A Statement Astro Fans....

Interesting idea of what to do if you catch Barry Bond's history making homerun ball(s) at Minute Maid Park. For sure, all sports eyes will be on the games in Houston the next 3 days. Go 'Stros! Keep Bonds OFF the bases!

Alan Ashby Might Be A Cat...

....if he lands on his feet with this one! You remember my comments in Ash Began To Sass, don't you? Can you say cronie? I knew you could. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that his being a Mormon didn't hurt the campaign either. C'est la vie.

Ash Began To Sass

I'm was surprised that Astro's announcer Alan Ashby's contract wasn't renewed, but I understand the need for new blood behind the mike. During the playoffs and World Series, in my humble opinion, Mr. Ashby went nuts. He was talking trash about everyone. That's just not done by the Astros.

I used to grit my teeth I'd get so sick of hearing all of our radio announcers make nice, nice about players on other teams that I couldn't stand, but I understood that was the way it had to be. You can't go around making enemies and talking trash when you are reporting the play by play. Even if you are doing color commentary, which I believe Mr. Ashby's job was, you've got to think about what you say and how it might come back to haunt you some day. I can't remember anything specific he said, of course, but I remember being shocked that he was being overly harsh in his comments about the Astros.

He had his glory days catching some of the Astro's best pitchers and earned his way into the history books, but he never went to the World Series and how dare he criticize those that did and then fell short. Surely he didn't think the guys weren't doing all they could to look better than they did? Bottom line, he forgot the most important rule: if you can't say anything nice about someone, then just keep your pie hole closed.

The Sox Swept & Our Fans Wept

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. The Astros were supposed to win something in the World Series, but in the end they didn't win even one in a row. They didn't exactly lose either. I kept wondering where are my Astros and who is this team wearing the open star? This team got no breaks. Well, okay, the homerun that wasn't, but that didn't change the outcome of that game. I don't want to open a vein though....not like playoff losses of past glory years....the guys made history on several fronts and if they can all come back, they can and will do better next time.

Some of the guys, mostly, that post to the blogs feel cheated....like the Astros made them look bad. Like now they can't hold their heads up at the sports bars. Like all you have to do is flip a switch and you can bat anything any pitcher thows at you. Like if they were the manager then it'd be a shoo-in and Mr. Garner can't manage his way out of a bag of popcorn. They don't seem to realize that in the entire 45 years history of this club no manger has taken us this far. HE can't flip that batting switch either. God knows if throwing a chair could of made them win we'd of at least taken a few of the games. It's just wasn't to bee. The Sox swatted the bees. The Sox swept the Astros up like they were leftover crumbs on the field of dreams.

There's a lot to be up about though and more of it will surface as the cold months fly by and our hearts mend and dreams of Spring and the training that will ensue. The best part is we got beat by someone new! Like my bro said "the Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals, Braves, Cubs, Giants, all had to watch it on TV" .... we didn't get beat by any of them! We ended up being the best the National League had to offer and that means we were on the top of the pile if only for a little while. And like Arnold said "WE'LL BE BACK".

The Wheels Came Off

The wheels came off the bus we call Astros and I don't understand why. What is the intangible something we lacked? Or, like the song said, what did we have a great big lack of? We left 15 on base...that means we had to be doing SOMETHING right to get them on base. Again we only lost by 2 runs...that's easily not the worst score possible. Our pitching didn't suck that much. True our manager went nuts and showed some emotion and not in a positive way, but I'll go to my grave saying he got us this far.....no other manager in the history of the team got us to the Series. It couldn't of been because we didn't deserve it, so I guess it was simply because we didn't earn it.

AND, God knows, the MLB was against us. The media networks were against us. The decision to close OUR roof was deeply implanted into the brains of each and every player and that worked against us.

My best friend was there and she pointed out something that no one else has..... the seats that usually are filled by the ordinary fans, the ones that hoot and hollar for the team, were being filled by the bosses and executives and others that were there to observe the victory and history. They might of held up a few signs with their lily white paws, but they weren't about to get loud. That's not to say that the fans let the team down though. If anything it's the other way around. And yet we got to the World Series, and that's an accomplishment in its own right.

Let's win one. Just one. If the Boston Red Soxs could start with one win last year, then why can't we?

My Jersey Gets To Go To The Show!

My good friend, Laurie, borrowed one of my Astros jerseys and she's wearing it to Game 5. I'm so happy for my shirt. It's not the first time my clothes have had more fun without me in them! And I guess it won't be the last time. Go Jersey! Beat the SOX!

Speaking of which, I HAD to wear socks yesterday and I wore BLACK SOCKS on purpose. Ha! Take that, Chicago!

There's a piece in the paper today about a "fan" in Chicago slapping Mrs. Biggio. That's pretty chickenshit. If I was in charge I'd outlaw beer sales, but that'll never happen because a lot of folks just go to sporting events to have an excuse to get wasted. Losers. Then this genius, the Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, suggests that if it happens again the perp should be taken to the dugout to let the player deal with it. GEEZUS, the idiots will beat those poor women to death for a chance to get into the dugout! Again, if I was in charge, I'd arm the families of the ballplayers in a NY minute!

Speaking of NY....whoa, it seems they aren't interested in watching the Series since none of their high dollar jocks are in it. Boo me a who! Like I was interested in seeing them or any of the rest of the media darlings that go year after boring year. So to liven up things, the powers that be are convinced that the Sox are going to win the whole show. I don't think so. One thing is crystal clear, if they can come to our house and beat us, then we don't deserve to win, but could we have some honest officiating for a change and a level playing field? Just give us a break and we'll give you back some entertaining wins!

Go Astros! Do it for Roger's momma and my daddy and, dadgumit, me too!