Out Gout!

You know, it's always something.

Just about the time you think everything is swell, SOMETHING rears its ofttimes ugly head.

Case in point...... GOUT! Notice there's a "OUT" smack dab in the middle of gout. Begone gout, give me a break! I've been in pain for 3 days. Hobbling around like Tim Conway on the old Carol Burnett Show! Painful! Can't sleep - thankfully cat naps are better than nothing. Can't really take anything for the pain...liquid Tylenol is a joke. The only good thing I can say about it is that it's tasty. I'm using my husband's cane just to try and get around. I can't put any pressure on the right big toe area so I must resort to walking on my heel and/or side of my foot. It'd be better if I didn't walk at all, but I'm going crazy being held down this much, don't think I could do the whole 'take to my bed' scenario.

I begged my best friend to cart my buns to the doctor yesterday because I couldn't take the pain and I can't drive since putting pressure on the gas pedal is out. He gave me a drug that's supposed to help, but so far no luck. It also can cause diarrhea so that ought to be fun hobbling hurriedly to the pot wielding a cane no less.

After it finally lets go of my big toe and leaves me alone I'm getting on a drug that I'll have to take for the rest of my life. Swell. It's supposed to reduce the production of uric acid. That's what gout is, an accumulation of PISS in the joint(s). Now you won't find THAT interpretation in the medical books, but that's by golly what it means!

This too shall pass. I feel like such a whiny ass when there are people suffering with worse things than a throbbing great phalanges. But pain is just not my thing. If this too shall pass could it please pass FAST!

Looking for Drugs, Teacher Texts Kentucky Trooper

From the DUH Department.......

MURRAY, Ky. -- It's a tough lesson for a Kentucky middle school teacher.

State police say she sent text messages looking for marijuana to a state trooper instead of a drug dealer.

The trooper was at a birthday dinner when his phone started buzzing with messages about a pot purchase.

Police spokesman Barry Meadows says the trooper thought it was a joke at first, but realized it wasn't after a few phone calls.

So he set up a meeting with Ann Greenfield.

Law enforcement officers were waiting for her when she arrived at the meeting point.

Says police spokesman Meadows: ''She learned her lesson. Program your dealers into your phone.''

Greenfield, who's 34, has been suspended with pay pending results of an investigation.

Officer.com