Saturday, November 24, 2007

After Viewing Sex Crimes and the Vatican...

I'm frankly stunned.

I was born and raised Catholic and feel that it rejected me in 1963 when a priest told me in confession to find a nice Catholic boy to love. That was the response to my plea that I loved the non-Catholic man who was later to become my husband of 33 years.

This was the same church that said I couldn't practice birth control. ME who got preggers when my husband even looked at me! That was the final cut of my Vatican cord.

It's not easy being a "fallen away Catholic" either especially when most of what's left of my family is still in the fold. My mom pretty much went to her grave praying for me to renounce my vow and tell the father of my children to take a hike.

I've never seen any part of ANY organized religion that appealed to me. I'm too brainwashed to be a Protestant and too redneck to be a Jew! I went to parochial school for the first six grades and I can't recall which grade it was now, but one day I was standing before the class at the blackboard trying to add a column of double digits. I couldn't do it. I couldn't of done it to save my life much less my immortal soul. The nun kept asking me "if I couldn't see it" [the answer I guess] and I kept saying "no, sister". She got so mad at me that she ended up slapping me in the face in front of the entire class.

I think I must of disassociated at the moment because I don't recall what happened next. I don't know if I cried or just continued to stand there in total humiliation. I don't remember what the nun did. I don't remember how I got out of it. I DO remember telling my mother and the usual feelings that it was all MY fault. I also remember hearing or rather overhearing that the nun had a nervous breakdown. I probably felt like I caused THAT too.

Poor, poor pitiful me. Alas this post is not about that. It's about ALL my other conflicted feelings about "The Church". We were taught from the first day to never, ever criticize the Church. Or the priest or the nuns or God forbid the Pope himself so I always feel a tad uncomfortable when I think or read about the sexual abuse that runs rampart and how nothing is done until forced to by the authorities and then they may or may not throw a sacrificial lamb in the guise of a defrocked priest on the fires.

I ran across this TV program that I think ought to be required viewing by Catholics, former Catholics and especially future Catholics. It was called Spotlight: Sex Crimes and the Vatican and on Link TV. I think it can be viewed online at BBC One.

The program points out that nothing is being done for the victims. The abuse is still going on and the Pope could put a stop to that if he wanted to. It's also about how a secret document "called Crimen Sollicitationis, was enforced for 20 years by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger before he became the current Pope". That's heavy stuff, folks. My family would most likely think that even reading the document is a one way ticket to hell.

In my own mind I like to think that even widespread abuse by the clergy doesn't mean ALL of them are bad, but if the head of the organization is bad what does that make the rest? I dunno what to make of any of this.

Monday, November 19, 2007

My Weight Loss Goal Is Written In Ink!

Today it’s official. I’ve reached my goal weight! In fact I’m one pound under goal. Dr. Wongsa didn’t think I’d make it. He wasn’t pleased with the quickness of my weight loss. I knew I could do it and part of me now wishes I could look him in the eye and say “so there!”.

More likely I’d look him in the eye and grasp his hand and say ‘thank you, thank you, for giving me back my life!”. Thank you God for helping me every step along the way. Thank you to my family for their love and support. Thank you to my good friends for their love and support and their encouragement and positive comments. Thank you me for being stubborn and determined and for finally taking control. I wish I could see John seeing me now. He always saw me as better than I was and I know he’d be so proud of me now and I’d be better able to accept it.

It hasn’t been easy and anyone that thinks that gastric bypass surgery is the easy way out is an ignorant fool. The whole ordeal from the time I observed my daughter’s fantastic weight loss progress, through the rigors of getting approval, to being wheeled into the operating room wondering if this was a good idea, to today when it’s official has been life altering. I’m not the same person now that I was in June of 2005 when I first saw Dr. Wongsa and begged for his help.

My whole life I heard about the thin person inside of fat people and now when I look in the mirror I see MY thin person and it’s surreal. When I’m walking by shop windows and I catch a glimpse of “her” I have to double take to grasp what I’m seeing. “She” looks a lot older than I remember her being. She has tons of loose skin, but I don’t see that as much as the marvel of where did it all go? It’s as if it melted off of me and now my body is like a candle and the loose skin is the wax that runs down when the candle is consumed. Wow, how’s that for imagery.

I guess I should get into the figures now. It’s taken me 1 year, 4 months and 27 days to lose 107 pounds. I know I was at least 7-10 pounds more than that at one time. In April of 1992 I was 27 pounds less than when I started this time and managed to gain it all back and then some which is why I decided going under the knife was the last resort I had. When I started my BMI was 41.7 (OBESE) and today it’s 24.0 and considered NORMAL. My diabetes is in remission and my A1C test is NORMAL. My sleep apnea is greatly improved. I'm not using the CPAP even though it probably wouldn't hurt to keep using it because I know I have episodes during the night, but not nearly as bad as they once were.

I’ve lost 4 inches in my bust (sob!), 7.5 in my waist, 8.5 in my hips, 5 in my thighs, 2 in my calves and 3 ¼ in my arms!

I’ve got photos, but I’m not comfortable displaying them. Most of them are for my eyes only or maybe mine and my daughters if they want to see them.

I feel good. I went to the Gulf Coast Blood Center today and gave ‘em a pint so I’m kinda tired tonight, but all in all it’s been a wonderful day and a good year. I’m pleased with my success and I’m dedicated to making sure I stay on this side of the diet teeter-totter.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Fast Foods Comparisons

This is a cool site with some of the more popular fast food restaurant items charted and with interesting comparisons of their nutritional values and, more importantly, the fat content. I only wish they'd of had some info on Whataburger because that's one of *my* favorite grab-a-burger-and-go joints. I really need to go to Arby's more too because they have some great meat choices. I get tired of chicken!

I'm still having a hard time finding any where to eat out. I'd almost like a place that let you buy one or two pieces of meat. Chicken strips are good, but they'd be even better if they weren't battered and fried. I'd even be happy with some place that would sell one boiled egg to go!

When I stepped on the scales this morning I was shocked to see my goal weight! When did THAT happen?! If it holds up by Monday I can 'officially' claim VICTORY!

I think the 'secret' is that I'm walking more with Lucy, the hellion. She is happiest when she's getting her poops outside my property. We go out late, in the dark, so's not to chance running into other dogs/people/vehicles. She's not overly social...she gets so stressed out it gets ME stressed out which just exacerbates the situation. (Wow! I never thought I'd get to use 'exacerbates' in a sentence. How cool is that!)

BTW, sorry I haven't written much lately. I've been running in my hamster wheel called LIFE as fast as I can with no end in sight. Which is a good thing, but I'm plumb worn out by the time I crawl into bed each night and blogging is the last thing on my mind. With me no news is usually NO NEWS, and I'm pretty sure there's no law that says a blogger has to blog frequently....... or is there??

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Progressive Autism Informational Site

I added a new link to my every bludgeoning list (hmmm that's sounds almost brutal, maybe ever 'blooming' is kinder). It's Progressive Autism dot com and seems to have some very useful information on autism. Here's some of what the blog creator has to say in his "bio"...

...the purpose for creating ProgressiveAutism was to equip caregivers and parents of children with autism with the knowledge that will help them meet the needs of their children and family.

If you find it worthwhile too, please give them a plug and a link, ok...

Me And Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones...

...we got a thing going on... (Can't get that song out of my head!)..

Catchy tune, but this is about EDWARD JONES and the thing we got going on is they help me keep my hard earned money and make a bit more with prudent investing.

My broker is Robert Grossman, AAMS and he's located at 9731 Wortham Blvd., Suite 104, Houston and can be reached at 281-894-6422. He sent me a reproduction of a Smart Money, August 2007 article entitled And The Winner Is... about Edward Jones being ranked #1 Full Service Broker for the 2nd time in a row.

Now just in case you didn't know, a full service broker is more expensive and detail oriented than a discount broker. You can read the difference for yourself here if you like. I felt like I was one of those people that could benefit from the hand holding and personal advice that my broker offers. He's got a great staff too and they are always there to smooth out any furrors on my otherwise wrinkled brow.

By the same token, I've always liked it that the most I ever have to "go through" to get to talk to The Man is one person. Way back when we used Merrill Lynch and it was just too huge, impersonal and complicated for my simple tastes. I'm one of those that resists changes of any sort that dehumanize me. I hate push one for blah blah blah and so forth. I hate forced canned speeches while you're trapped on hold. I could go on and on, but I'd be digressing and that's generally distressing when I need to stay on topic.

Come to think of it, I highly recommend Edward Jones, but get your own broker. If all of you call mine then he might have to hire more people and then I'd get force fed canned music too! Hey, it could happen, but I'll grant you that's not likely I'm just messing with you.