Monday, March 27, 2006

Old Ladies And Traffic Cops

Old Ladies And Traffic Cops

The following story got me to thinking....

Cigars.....Donuts..and Coffee: Get outta my way....I had a bad day.....

There is nothing scarier than a traffic cop pointing his finger or waving his arm and blowing a whistle unless it's looking in your rear view mirror and seeing flashing lights. I swear to God I never know what they want me to do! Not the flashing lights ones, that's easy, it's only idiots that don't understand how that works. I like it when the cop just keeps his cool and put up a plain and simple palm toward me "STOP" and then the arm waving "come on". Some of them start twirling and whirling and whistling and tweeting and THAT just make me STOP and then that defeats whatever purpose they are intending. People like me, don't want to annoy the POLICE! First rule my daddy taught me: never piss off a cop. There's nothing pretty about an angry cop and most of them don't care much for blubbering old ladies staring back at them and shrugging their aged shoulders as if to say "what do you want me to do?".....

Once I get to going, I always give the officer/deputy a little 'thank you' wave, not the rude gesture that Jason wrote about, but just a "I finally figured it out, thanks, have a nice day" kind of finger wiggling salute. I would NEVER do anything less or anything more. Although one time I put the window down and offered the fellow an ice cold, unopened bottle of water, but he declined. Cops are suspicious by nature, you know. I can't say I blame them either.

Oh, and one other thing....I'm also patient and polite to regular people that direct traffic around orange cones and such.....I figure they are doing me a favor in the long run. What sets my kettle to boiling is the folks that can't bide their time and wait in the line....the ones that drive down the shoulder or make their own freeway exits or go around everyone and then cut back in at the last possible second before the barricade. I'm usually back there saying "don't let that asshole in, damnit folks!"....but they always do get back in, don't they?


Anonymous said...

WTF is up with the BLOG craze? I have no more use for a BLOG than I do for a pocket for an iPod in my jockey shorts. Do people actually seek these out as an important resource for valuable information or is it more of a voyeur type of peep into the keyhole of other folks inane mumblings in the middle of the night?

Your birthday is almost upon us once again and this old and weirdly depressed friend is wishing you another happy and healthy year on this miserable planet.


What Would Chester Do?

Lainey said...

I hate when assholes cut in line, too!

TxGoodie said...

Hello, Chester, old love! Blogs are don't have to "do" anything, just babble on and you know I do that better than most!

I almost spent my birthday in the hospital. Woke up with chest pains early on the 30th and spent 36 hours trying to avoid being killed at the hospital. Went through an exhaustive battery of tests, most of which make me glow when the lights are reduced and they came up with nada for the cause. Did not have another heart attack though and doesn't appear that I threw a clot I guess it was just my lame bid for attention and the chance to ride in an ambulance! Only problem now is very low blood pressure, but, hey, so long as it's pumping, that's fine with me!
BTW, I do love you, you know...I guess that's just cause for depression! :-)

Anonymous said...

Hope you're feeling better. I spent your birthday in the ghetto that is downtown Cleveland Ohio working my little thumbs down to the nubs attempting to make some rent money. Strange place downtown is, you can buy women or crack 24/7 but try and get a cheeseburger after 7 PM and you have a better chance of seeing God. Being too old and decrepit to be able to enjoy the first two my cheeseburger habit went unsatisified and remains a monkey on my back.

Just got home today and have to go back Monday for 10 days or so and then I'm officially unemployed again. *sigh*

Looks like you've been wordy while I was gone and I have to start at the top and see what you're babbling about this week.


TxGoodie said...

Babble? Moi? You know me too well. I'm feeling fine now, thanks for asking. I'm thinking it's one of those no news is good news deals and I just keep truckin' along.

I'm sure you remember how Houston used to roll up the sidewalks at 10 p.m. but after you left town they went nuts and turned downtown into party central. Every night you'd have a hard time telling the revelers from the homeless since they're all drunk. It's really amazing, you wouldn't recognize it....hell, *I* don't recognize it! Funny thing is as much crime that's being reported in some parts of town, I rarely hear anything about folks killing one another downtown....I don't know if they aren't killing one another or if the mayor is having the bodies moved!