Getting Ready For A Garage Sale

I was going to add a picture I'd found of a beat-up garage to announce why I'm not blogging right now, but blogger.com has enacted some new kind of nightmare and evidentally I'm not holding my tongue just right because every time I try and upload a picture it fusses at me. If they'd give me a clue what the "cookie's" name is that they think I should have I'd be more than happy to add it to the mixture, but noooooooo it's a bigass secret. I know it's not their other suggestion...the one about java whatever not being turned on because that is turned on. So, in the name of frustration I just say "screw 'em"...who needs pictures anyway.

Me and my best friend and my daughter(s) are having our annual garage sale this Friday and Saturday and I've been busy getting my "stuff" ready for it and I'll be busy this weekend so don't look for me around as much. I'd supply the physical address except that some loon might go out of his/her way to stop by and give us grief instead of the business. Anyone that knows me knows where I live and Paula's house is within eyesight of mine. It should also be the house with the HUGE garage sale going on. We even put up a tarp tent to keep the weather off our customers! We call it multi-family because it is and we have to discourage people from bringing stuff because it's so over-stuffed as it is and we always end up having way more stuff leftover than most people ever begin with.

Some times we make a lot of money, but all the time we laugh our asses off and generally have a good time. The true test of friendship is to go through a garage sale and still want to speak to the other participates when it's concluded! Paula and me are Lucy and Ethel when it comes to these things! We take turns with who's who....we don't always know which character we are either!

The worst and best part is getting first crack at the other's "stuff". I'm sure you know what I'm talking about! I've been known to spend more than I cleared. Next best way to go through the dough is the FOOD..... donuts for breakfast......burgers or BBQ for lunch and, of course, dinner out because you're too tired to cook! It a$l$l a$d$d$s up fast$! Wish me luck!

Chron.com | HPD officer's pay tops $172,000

Chron.com | HPD officer's pay tops $172,000

All I can say is: more power to them!

Since when is it a crime to work your blue butt off and get paid for it? I guarandamnteeit that the Harris County guys who work equally as hard would give their Sam Brown's up for a chance at that kind of dough.

The DWI task force works out of downtown Houston and guess what else is in downtown Houston? Bars out the wahzoo. They are so proud of making Houston central some sort of hot spot for party animals and then they wonder about the police busting idiots for driving drunk. Hello? Why not get mad at the bull when the matador waves a red flag in his snout?

Why not write articles about how simple it is to not get a DWI if you don't drink and drive? Could it be that doesn't stir up enough hate against the police and hate sells ink? Could it be that the sniveling defense attorneys, who the Chronicle is so quick to quote with their negative quips against the police, would be crying about losing their own revenue if their customers suddenly wised up and got sober or, or at least, called a cab to get home?

That's a silly, silly article and when it makes the front page of the Chronicle on a Sunday edition it's provided solely as a means to stir up hate. Hate kills cops. Cops work for their pay. Some cops get paid overtime for working, guess what, OVERTIME. I don't see the problem at all. It's called earning a living last time I checked.

And just so you won't think I'm too old to party..... I'm guilty of driving after drinking myself and it's just sheer blind luck that I didn't get popped too, but I'm not to old to change my evil ways and I hope I did just that. I'm not saying don't drink, I'm saying don't be surprised if they don't light you up when you do.

BTW, I've met one of those DWI guys, and he's got about 25 kids to support so he's not exactly living the life a single guy with only a cat to feed. He is passionate about his work too and believes in what he's doing and I for one, thank him and all the others for bustin' their blue cans and keeping the streets just a little bit safer for us all.

Does Anyone Test Umpires For Drug Use?

Well, they ought to!

Cheaper Than Therapy: My Very Own Vagina Monologue

Cheaper Than Therapy: My Very Own Vagina Monologue

There's an e-mail going around of... er .... well camel toes and I liked the music part of it, but after seeing dozens and dozens and each one more MORE than the last one, I got...I dunno...maybe stunned is as good a word as any. Anyway, shortening a long story, I got to thinking about ...well...uh...mine and darnit, even when I was younger it never looked like THOSE...my camel toes looks like a camel's butt or something... anyway, excuse me if this is just too crude... But, you know, I don't know why they call it camel toes .... cause some of those gals had more like camel lips .....

What Kind Of English Do You Speak?

The chart below is the way I put words together according to the quiz from Blogthings. I was surprised it wasn't more Redneck.

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

25% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Firefox fanatics making money by punishing users

Ed Bott's Windows Expertise » Firefox fanatics decide to make money by punishing users

I'm a big fan of Firefox (and Thunderbird for e-mail) and I find this article distressing and hope that these are isolated incidents and not a glimpse into Firefox's future. The whole reason for using Firefox over IE was for safety and the fact that it wasn't obnoxious like Internet Explorer!

And speaking of obnoxious, the popup ads that can be closed almost immediately, but can't be blocked entirely, that are showing up when one goes to KHOU's online news service and several others is crap. I make it a point to NEVER buy or support anything that is shoved down my throat, so to speak, and all forms of spam are at the top of the food chain when it comes to sleaze.

My ignoring the obnoxious won't have any impact at all when one considers those that will buy and do click on e-mailed crap. These are the same zipperheads (thanks, Don E, for the perfect phrase!) that buy from door-to-door and telebothers.

The LawDog Files: Shame! Shame! Shame!

The LawDog Files: Shame! Shame! Shame!

I know at least one cop that told me early on that all the guns HAD to be confiscated in order to preserve order and not be used on the police trying to keep that order. He was a Texas LEO and not part of the NOLA scene. I can appreciate that cop's jobs are dangerous enough without being shot at while trying to help and we kept hearing reports that such a thing was happening. However, we also heard the situation in New Orleans seemed to be that one couldn't even trust the police to be lawful. Ouch! That goes against the grain of everything I was told growing up: to wit, when in trouble find a policeman.

I'm a gun owner and wouldn't of given up all my guns no matter who ordered it, but when they can come in and search and seize, what's a body to do? You can't shoot AT the police. I'm not a wackio...well at least not where my guns are concerned.

So the dilemma to a law abider like me would be which side of the line am I on? The law of survival says I must protect my own life and I certainly don't have the physical strength to do that without help from a bullet. Can't I protect myself and still obey the law and if not, why not?

Tag A Texan!

I was tagged by Attila The Mom and it didn't hurt a bit.

The rules are simple:

1. Go write 6 weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people!
2. Then leave a comment that says “You are tagged” in their comments telling them to read your blog. ENJOY!

Never let it be said that I can't play nice with others!

Anyway, here's my list:

1. I was born on April Fool's Day and my parents named me "Edith Ann". As a result, I should of had years of therapy, but back then you just had to suffer in silence. Lily Tomlin has made it her life's work to make my life a stand-up routine or a living hell depending on how my hormones are ebbing and flowing!

2. I will NEVER ever drink buttermilk because I don't like what it does to a glass. Nas-tee! I like it just fine in biscuits and pancakes, etc.

3. I've been driving 47 years and only had two citations (one for running a stop sign and one for an expired inspection sticker). I got pulled over once for speeding and got my butt chewed, but then he let me go with severe admonishments. I drive the reddest car that Pontiac makes too!

4. I can send out messages mentally to my kids and my best friends and they actually "get" them and usually will call me and say "WHAT!?"...

5. I need the humidity in Houston in order to survive. I nearly dry up and blow away within one week of being in Las Vegas.

6. I don't mind being tagged, but I won't resend "stuff" I get in e-mail to people even if it means monkeys will fly out of my butt or my left breast will implode. I think it has something to do with my "oh, yeah, make me!" gene.

I'm going to pick on tag 1. Rorschach at Red Ink: Texas, 2. Lainey at Grapevine Connection (I hope she's not too busy or bummed!), 3. Jason at Cigars...Donuts...and Coffee (I hope he doesn't read my #3 and send his buds after me!), 4. RickO the Houston Guy (I hope he's not climbing a mountain at the moment), 5. Kristie the Suburban Goddess (We've never "met", but I love her take on Q-tips and the disposal thereof!) and last, but never least, 6. A feller named Head who hangs in his own Bunker and has a lot of John Wayne qualitites about him.

I Want To Play - This Day In History - Too!

From my buddy's Zanga thingie:

Go to Wikipedia . Type in your birth date (but not year). List three (or four) events that happened on your birthday. List three (or more) important birthdays and three (or more) interesting deaths. Post this in your journal or the nearest bathroom stall.


April 1st events:

1. 1934 - Bonnie and Clyde kill two young highway patrolmen near Grapevine, Texas.
2. 1970 - President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring surgeon general's warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertisements on television and radio in the United States starting on January 1, 1971.
3. 1976 - Apple Computer Company is formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.
4. 2004 - Gmail, an email service from Google launches.

April 1st birthdays:

1. 1883 - Lon Chaney, Sr., American actor (d. 1930)
2. 1885 - Wallace Beery, American actor (d. 1949)
3. 1929 - Jane Powell, American dancer, actress, and singer
4. 1932 - Debbie Reynolds, American actress

April 1st deaths:

1. 1946 - Noah Beery, American actor (b. 1882)
2. 1984 - Marvin Gaye, American singer (b. 1939)
3. 1988 - Jim Jordan, American actor (Fibber McGee) (b. 1896)
4. 2004 - Carrie Snodgress, American actress (b. 1946)

April 1st holidays & observances:

1. April 1 is known as April Fool's Day or All Fools' Day in many countries.
2. Date that bobhouses, used for ice-fishing, must be taken off frozen lakes in New Hampshire.
3. International Day of the Birds.

Diamonds From The Dead?

Guess what? You can take a dead person's ashes and turn them into a DIAMOND! It's the carbon thing, you know. Freaks me out! And yet my nasty old imagination is going nuts with the possiblities.....

I can see it now.....first you call hospice then you call LifeGem! To heck with the casket, just buy me a jewerly box lined in satin! Make me pear shaped for eternity! Turn the old bag into a sparkling baggette! Like Marilyn sang "square cut or pear shaped these rocks don't lose their shape!".

Both your parents could be earrings. Mom's on the right and Dad's on the left lobe! Hey, don't stop there, Granny could become a bellybutton jewel!

I'm not so sure about the clarity though. And I'm not even going to think about color. Oooohhh.....would a fatter person make for a larger carat? That'd be kinda cool! 'Course you still have to buy the setting and gold is very dear these days, but still it's thought provoking to say the least. At your funeral they could just pass out loupes.....

Our Easter Bunny Lays Tacos!

I'll be heading out soon for the big Easter do at number one child's casa. She's serving traditional Easter tacos for dinner and my mouth is already watering. I guess maybe not a lot of people celebrate Easter with tacos, but she comes from a long line of non-traditional holiday meal makers. Well, ok, actually it began with ME, but, hey, you have to start tradition somewhere.

I used to ask them what they wanted and nine times out of ten they'd say "chickenfried steak" and off I'd go to the grocery store for their Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter meal makings. I'd MAKE them eat blackeyed peas on New Year's Day, but the rest of the holidays it was pretty much mob rule.

It wasn't so bad for me either. For instance, I'd be nonchalantly perusing the tenderized round steaks while the rest of the hoards were vying for the biggest turkeys or the plumpest hams. It'd be like a cartoon with arms and legs and poultry parts flying up in the air and me down on the other end looking amused. Not to mention there is nothing tastier than chickenfried steak and mashed potatoes with cream gravy.....it's a staple meal in Texas too!

My husband would just love it when I'd fix "old dead cow" and after an exhaustive study on the subject I could find no evidence that it was required that only certain food choices could be served at holiday gatherings.....so, what the heck, life's too short to spend it stuffing a turkey's butt if what you really want is BBQ ribs and coldslaw! Happy Easter, everybunny!

How About A Chocolate Room?

No kidding, there's a place in England called Food Is Art that makes full sized rooms out of chocolate.


I was thinking a chocolate BATHROOM would be fun. You could put coconut flakes on the toilet seat for decoration. Can you imagine your friends coming over and licking your walls? I'd probably have to have the faucet running insulin... I wonder how long it'd take to eat a wall? One thing's for sure, the roaches would love it!

"Runnin' Block" Was A Shock, Y'all

You know I love Toby Keith so I got my paws on his newest CD White Trash with Money the first day it was getable. It's a good one too. I sat and listened all the way through and I liked, of course, the Get Drunk And Be Somebody hit and one called Can't Buy You Money. Not one of the songs was "bad", although one or two might be a little slower paced than I like, but all it all it's a good CD and bound to make Toby a lot more well deserved dough.

But then I got to one called Runnin' Block. (Football Definition: Engaging an opponent in an effort to keep him from getting to a specific part of the field or player.) It's not that easy to describe, so I'm going to just write out the lyrics and let you see what I mean:

Lyrics for Song: Runnin' Block
Lyrics for Album: White Trash With Money, written by Toby Keith & Scotty Emerick

My buddy said his girlfriend is as pretty as can be
He said help a brother out tonight and come double date with me
She's gotta a baby sister and they're headed into town
They're lookin' for a good time
They're fun to be around

I said what do she look like?
He scratched his head and stated
"She was a home comin' football queen before she graduated.
We'll wine and dine and do 'em fine
and really double date 'em
Then take 'em back to the motel six and
Try to seperate 'em.

They showed up in a pick up
They were right on time
His was kinda heafty
But not half as big as mine

I'm runnin' block
Turn the lights down low
Runnin' block
Don't want know one to know
That I tried to drink her skinny but she's still about 215
Sometimes you got to bow up
And take one for the team

She cleaned her plate at dinner
Then she ate what's left of mine
Then she wolfed down a big cheesecake as I drank all the wine
She strolled out to the padio for an after dinner cig
I said "Bro you done 'er this time and gonna owe me big

You know why?
'Cuz my brother's havin' a party
Thought you outta know
He's got coeds swimmin naked
The reason I can't go

I'm runnin' block
Turn the lights down low
Runnin' block
Don't want know one to know
That I tried to drink her skinny but she's still about 215
Sometimes you got to bow up
And take one for the team

Now bow up boys

When I got back to the motel
I kicked up my feet
And she put me in a headlock and said
Snuggle up with me
My buddy finished early and when he walked
through the door
I was layin' there half naked
She had me pinned down to the floor

Son I can't believe you caught me
With this big ol' jelly roll
You'll laugh at me tomorrow
You can't ever tell a soul

Chorus


[Thanks to kickthecrap@yahoo.com for lyrics]
[And my thanks to http://www.cowboylyrics.com too]

Ok, first I was shocked and then I was irritated and then I did start laughing 'cause it is funny to way he sings it. Then I got my feelings hurt 'cause I'm no skinny minnie and I took more than my fare share of grief growing up from cruel kids (that was before it was fashionable to just blow their scrawny asses away!). Then I got the visual of the last time I saw Toby, both in person and on TV and I said "hey, wait just a darn second here, cowboy, YOU ain't exactly thin, my friend!" Fact of the matter is, I've been thinking that the Tobster might want to hire a personal trainer or something 'cause diabetes might be in his future at the rate he's enjoying his funds and fame! So there. I still like the CD and the song ....but I just had to get that off my chest!

Cheaper Than Therapy: If I Was Boss For a Day...

Cheaper Than Therapy: If I Was Boss For a Day...

The gal that calls herself Attila The Mom is a scream. If you don't do anything else today, go and read the above and the one below...

Open Mouth, Insert Foot


I love the way blogs beget blogs. If you find one you like and then look at links to the blogs they like, then chances are you'll find others that appeal to your tastes. It's almost like a STD only without the shame.

I have my share of political/serious blogs that I read and I try and keep tabs on the techy stuff, but the lighter side is definitely where my interests lie. The world is so depressing. Everywhere you look its gloom and doom and hatred and devastation. I do what I can to keep up with the world, but when I can't take it anymore, I like to just curl up with my computer and find a peaceful place where words are friendlier and it's easy to smile and think maybe the world's not so messed up afterall.

Your Love Life Secrets ....

I love taking online "tests" and surveys and such. I don't put much store by them, but they sure are fun when you're bored and not about to get off your can and do something that involves cleaning!

Here's the results of the one I just took: Your Love Life Secrets....

***Your Love Life Secrets Are***

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.

In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.


Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
http://www.blogthings.com/yourlovelifesecretsrevealedquiz/

I'm not sure if that's me or not as it's never easy to really judge ourself. I know I'm jealous by nature which "they" say means I'm insecure. I know I am insecure and I'd rather be alone that risk getting hurt. That's probably way more about me than I need to launch into cyberspace too. But, I digress, the point of the post was to point out the fun one can have at www.blogthings.com. Check it out!

Johnny Lee At Sam Houston Race Park

Me and two of my three plus one went to see Johnny Lee Saturday at Sam Houston Race Park. We almost missed his performance because we were wandering around inside trying to decide what to do next and he had cranked it up on the "front porch". He'd had a spot of trouble because his band's bus had broken down or something and the Race Park folks had to fly just him in and leave his band stranded by the wayside. The folks he played with did a decent job of it and he sounded great. All I wanted to hear was Looking For Love and he sounded exactly like HIM on that take! I know that probably doesn't make sense, but I like it a lot when someone sounds like they should. You play their song and get used to the way it's supposed to sound and don't like it when they change the arrangment or do extras to make it "better".



The best part was the horses. I've always loved to look at horses and I used to own one when I was about a hundred years younger. She was my best friend and the only reason I'm almost sane today. Horses are like really big dogs. You can tell them stuff and they don't repeat it. Mine followed me around like a puppy dog and responded when I'd hollar "Beebee" while walking up the road to the stables. I'd hear her whinnying and snorting and shuffling her feet getting all excited at the break in her day.... me .... and some sweet feed or alfalfa hay or just the chance to stretch her legs and see something different while we road all over the area. Ah, those were the days.

However, back to the track (or would that be back ON track), I think the 2nd or 3rd best part was that the whole enchilada was FREE! During April you get FREE parking and FREE admission! That's way cool! The grounds are just beautiful with all kinds of flowers blooming and they've got two adorable little donkeys out where kids can pet them and old folks can photograph them. I bought a bottle of water and it was only $2.25 and that's not shoddy considering some of the rips folks do at these venues in Houston. The Park is right close to where I live so it's no biggie to get there, but even if we had to drive across town it would of been worth it. Check it out, it's FREE and you don't have to gamble if you don't want to....none of us did.

Michelle Malkin: NBC: STAGING THE NEWS AGAIN?

Michelle Malkin: NBC: STAGING THE NEWS AGAIN?

A disturbing example of how the "news" can be altered to fit whatever agenda the press might have!

It's as if the media is committing suicide right before our very eyes. Now, true, this particular "piece" is for a "news magazine", but who's to say they don't doctor the hardcore news as well? You know they present inflammatory pictures whenever possible and in the case of President Bush, make sure to show him in the worst possible light at all times.

Anyway, don't take my word for it, go and read Ms. Malkin's blog for yourself.

Gore Is Such A Bore!

At the urging of a very good friend, I went to see The Hills Have Eyes. He wanted the company and I wanted something fun to do. How I thought unrelenting horror would be fun is beyond my comprehension even now. The whole movie is gore on top of more gore on top of fake blood and body parts! Now knowing anything about the original Wes Craven's 1977 movie, I had no idea what the plot was. I knew it was a horror movie and that fact alone should of made me smile and say "no, thanks", but he was so excited at the prospect of seeing the remake that I said "okay".

"Torturing the audience is not the same thing as scaring them, and I'm not sure Aja can tell the difference."

-- Rene Rodriguez, MIAMI HERALD

After it was over, whether from the relief that it had mercifully ended my suffering or because at least one dog survived, I said it wasn't all that bad. It just wasn't all that good either. Or maybe it was and I'm just not sophisticated enough to glean the nuances of excellence. Granted the gore is certainly realistic and the make-up and lighting and sound and all that stuff was first rate, but it left me wanting to take a bath, go home and hug my dog or maybe even hurl. It was a shocking movie and one I'll not soon forget.

"The body count is higher than the scriptwriters' combined IQ's."

-- Jackie Loohauis, MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL

The best part was giggling and wisecracking with my pal ..... that helps when it's just so gross you can't bear it! I watched a lot of the early part through my fingers, but after awhile I guess I was numbed or maybe just dumbed.

"The Hills Have Eyes isn't the kind of movie to go see with your family... or your mother... or with your prayer-warrior girlfriend."

-- Kevin Carr, 7M PICTURES

I'm going to urge my son-in-law Mike to go and see it because he LOVES that kind of movie. Probably liking to be scared and relishing violence and craving horror is an acquired taste and one that I never saw much point in, but, as they say, to each his own. My S-I-L would rather open a vein than watch Chicago or Gigi with me!