How I Spent My Vegas Vacation

If it's February, it's time for the annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas by me and my buds.

This year we arrived on Thursday the 7th in the early afternoon and by late night I was writhing in pain on the carpeted floor at the Four Queens!



I passed out three times, but never hit the floor. Luckily some lovely security guards eased me on down. I was severely dehydrated and suffered tremendous leg cramps to prove the point.




I got carted off in an ambulance to a local teaching hospital, pumped full of fluids, tested every which way, repeatedly punctured like an old tire and subjected to the usual dehumanizing tricks of the medical professional parade. I got out Saturday afternoon and promptly hit the slots!




The fancy smancy name for fainting is syncope. That's sounds more like a rock group's name to me. Or perhaps I'm just confusing it with a syncopated rhythm.

The doctors decided that they'd blame it on my gastric bypass surgery. Firstly it's easier to dehydrate with the 'lil tum and in my case I also riled my vagus nerve and lemme tell you, mess with that puppy and you drop like a rock with no warning. None of that closing curtain or I think I'm woozy stuff...one minute you're up and the next you're out cold.




I thought it was extremely ironic that I go to Vegas and my VAGUS nerve is the star of the show! BTW, that's NOT a picture of me, but that's pretty much what I looked like by the time my vacation was over!

I brought home some sort of sneezing, snuffling, coughing my guts out by-product. Sort of my version of a diseased souvenir memento of my Vegas hospital adventure.

And to add insult to injury: can you believe they don't EVEN have slot machines or even Keno in the hospital! I could of spent a lot of time entertaining myself and they could of been raking it in. Although not having seen even one slender piece of paper with any billing details, I imagine they'll rack it up the old fashioned way.



vasovagal syncope