Another Year, Another Tear

I've been doing real good (that's "East Texas" for 'very well') with this whole grief thing. I mean, come on, it's ELEVEN YEARS. You can't be blue all the time and most of the time I'm fine. But this time of the year it creeps up on me and bites me in the butt when I least expect it.

I've been purposely keeping busy so's not to give myself the opportunity to get sad, but tonight I was watching a made for Christmas Hallmark tear-jerker and damn if it didn't jerk me around until my tear damn busted wide open. I got to crying and didn't stop for too long a time.

It's important to let go from time to time. You can't deny either the love that was lost or the grief that never dies...it just lies beneath the surface like molten lava waiting for that tiny crack in the emotional layer so it can spew forth and cover all it sees.

I'll be fine. I'll pick myself and dust myself off and get back in the fast lane for another year. The whole act of writing it down here helps me cope. I've got quite a list now for my copeability. I'm not sure that's a real word, but it ought to be if it isn't because it describes the process to a T.

Remembering my sweetie. Missing him still. Wishing if he had to go why it couldn't of been in June or September...why did it have to be December 17?

A Single Dove
November 22, 2006
Remembering December 1996
Do You Believe In Angels?