I'm plugging along, trying to "eat right" and throwing clothes I've undergrown out of my closets every week. Yea, me! I missed a couple of outfits because I didn't realize I could of worn them before they got too big on me. It's like living a dream. That dream you have when the weight just goes away without any effort on your part. You wish it away. You see yourself all lean and mean and it just happens! The weight is just melting off of me. I'm like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz only in a good way. I've lost 62 pounds - 33 since the surgery. I'm over the halfway point.
My doctor fussed at me big time because I didn't lie to him when he asked me if I was eating carbs and fats. I've cheated a bit and because of that I haven't lost as much as fast as he expected. I'd be contrite if it wasn't for the fact that I am losing and I'm doing the best I can. I've still got a lot more to lose and that's the part he's concerned with. He doesn't want me to get down another 30 or so pounds and think that's good enough. He wants me at goal. He's seen patients that have regained and therefore failed in his opinion. What he doesn't realize is I want me at goal too, but I don't like my mouth smelling and tasting like a rectum from eating just meat. (Don't ask HOW I know what a rectum tastes like! It's creative license big time!).
His bedside manner leaves a LOT to be desired. If his plan was to jump start a positive reaction out of me he went about it the wrong way. I've been nagged and criticized and berated by the best of them my entire life for all the good it did them. The way to reach me is to explain WHY and then back off and let me digest the information and decide for myself what plan of action I need.
The surgery has given me the tool I wanted to change my life. The loss of even 25 pounds gave me relief from 7 shots for diabetes a day plus a buttload of medications that are now languishing in their pill bottles. My confidence grows every day as my butt shrinks.
I realize that I won't lose even as much as I'm doing now every week. It'll start to wane and his point is valid - that I should take this opportunity to change my unwise eating ways. I HAVE changed most of them - I haven't eaten a piece of evil fruit in 6 months. I nibbled at some bread and didn't like the way it laid in my walnut [the place formerly known as my stomach!]. I'm not eating anything fried and the fat I am eating is in a few walnuts [the real ones!], pretzel sticks, cheese and peanut butter. I've eaten some of the fudge that I made for Christmas and some chocolate chip cookies. I ate some unfrosted chocolate cake the other night while playing poker. NONE of it has made me "dump" or any of the other vile side effects of the surgery I've read about. (Oh, dear, that's not good...that's the part where it IS up to me to control myself better).
However I flatly refuse to feel guilty about anything I'm eating or not eating now. I'm making a concentrated effort to keep from overeating as much because I don't want my walnut to become the size of a plum and because it's decidedly uncomfortable to stretch it too much. It's far better to stay within the 1/2 to 1 ounce range and it just blows me away to know that satisfies my hunger and burning my own fat is enough fuel to keep me going all day, every day. For the most part, just allowing myself my tiny transgressions gives me a feeling of being in control and yet learning what isn't nearly as great as I imagine it used to be - if that makes any sense at all.
I'm not kidding, this is the best surgery for fatties in the world! I want to go up to strangers in the street and say "HEY" look what's available for us! But I'll never do that because the surgery is not for everyone and it's NOT easy. People that have had it don't consciously play down the uncomfortable parts, they just don't notice them once they get on the scales or look in the mirror or watch the growing pile of cast off clothing. There are uncomfortable parts, but nothing has been as bad as not losing the weight, dying before my time and adding complications to my list of ailments.
I feel so damned good I went out and got blond highlights! I'm wearing makeup more often and walking faster. I can get up out of a chair without walking the first few seconds like Tim Conway's Old Man on the Carol Burnett Show. I have hope again. I have energy. It just doesn't get any better than hopeful, blond energy - trust me on that one!
R-N-Y Post Surgical Report
The Cure For Diabetes Type II Is Here!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
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3 comments:
Woohoo! I'm so thrilled for you!
When you get down to your goal weight, will they reverse the surgery, or will you have the walnut for life?
The walnut can and will morph into other shapes .... it is, hopefully, going to "mature" into something the size of my fist. I hear that "normal" stomachs are the size of 4 fists and the ideal is to keep the new and improved tum 1/4 that size. They will not reverse the surgery unless all sorts of untoward events occur and since I've been blessed with not a smidge of trouble healing, I'm thinking I'm good to go! Hugs...
I forgot to say---I just love the new pic!
I'm so glad things are going well for you!
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