Sunday, August 13, 2006

Texas Does NOT Have It All!

I'm bummed. I thought I was living in the greatest state in the world, much less the US of A and come to find out while I was off gazing at a star (apologies to Gigi), the goddamn Bible thumpers have made massive inroads into mail order commerce. You can NOT order an adult DVD and have it shipped in Houston, Dallas, Blah, Blah, or Blah. You also can't have "toys" shipped, but there's ways around just keep searching into you find a online retailer that hasn't gotten the memo. I just spent HOURS trying to find an online DVD retailer that would send me a little ditty called "Pirates". No luckie. I could always borrow a copy or rent a copy, but I wanted to OWN a copy if for no other reason than it's a unique piece of film....a front runner....the "Deep Throat" of the 2000's. Something for my kids to fight over after I'm dead and gone! And equally as appealing is something to shock the shit out of anyone that thinks 60 plus old broads can't view porn with the best of the big boys and enjoy it! I had cold, hard cash (sort of) in my hairy, hot hand (not even!) and they don't want my moola! Go figure.

Lemme shipment of "porn" or "toys" and no casino gambling. Phooey. Then the question arises, are "they" trying to save me from the debbel or have the adult video stores locked down the biz for their own bad selves? Do they want me to crank up Old Bessie and motor down in the August Texas heat to rub elbows with a bunch of hairy, sweaty Homo sapiens neanderthalensis in the back room of some Porn Palace, but I can't discretly click a few links and order my prepacked fantasy and view same in the privacy and comfort of my own home? Well that's just not right. And I'm totally and irreconcilably bummed.

P.S. I could get my Bud up in PA to accept delivery and then reship to moi, but not only is that a GREAT deal of trouble for HIM, but I'm not sure my DVD player will work with sticky goods! Sigh.


Yea! Someone took pity on me and showed me the way! The way to order the movies I wanted that is. It's an online retailer called Adult DVD Free. I would not have found them on my own in a gazillion years! The second movie I ordered is called The Visitors and it sounds good too! Thanks, BudD!


Anonymous said...

Texas has various laws about sex toys and as long as some prosecutors, police, and yes Grand Juries, follow the letter of the law; expect to pay a premium to those willing to chance selling you stuff.

As far as movies are concerned, while we can look around and find scores of places they are available in town (including many convenience stores, although TABC has tried to mess with them), a few online retailers have seen the headlines and taken the legal advice to shy away from the major cities in the state since indictments and arrests are made locally (how long ago was it that Harris County ran off that Zone D' Erotica from 1960?).

Stupid laws are the result of letting the thumpers bully spineless politicians and I'm willing to bet that self serving idiots like that Dan Patrick guy will do his best to make things worse.

Anonymous said...

I'm seriously bummed at this latest news and may have to rethink Houston as the place to spend my golden years...


Attila The Mom said...

Oh dear. The nanny-state...

If you're ever looking for appliances--snerk--drop me a line. Unlike your friend in PA, I'll forward it in its original packaging without test-driving it first. ;-)

TxGoodie said...

Thanks, MOM....that's very nice of you to offer your services. I've got a lovely assortment of......ahem....items now. So much so that I've asked a couple of pals to rush over when they hear that I've gone to that big movie house in the sky and throw it all away before the kids find it! Knowning MY kids they'd try and be nice and include the GOODS in the box with me, all of us on full display!! Ack!