Saturday, August 05, 2006

My Hind Titty

I'm currently going to cardic rehab aka exercise therapy 3 days a week. The two gals in charge aka the Exercise Nazis seem to get a kick out of my constant whimpering and complaining that they're trying to kill me. (Despite their best efforts to that end I'm actually not dying and feeling better and stronger every week!).

I was on the bike deal and Nazi Cori accidentally bumped into me while taking the B.P. of the gal next to me. Cori said something about her big rear and without even thinking about it I said "Big rear? My hind titty!".....well she fell over laughing and then went on to say she'd never heard such a thing. She checked with all her pals and got back to me with the verdict that *I'd* made that phrase up and there was no such thing. I said it was a Texas saying and it meant something to the effect of "oh, yeah?", "as if", "not likely", etc. Again she said I made it up as no one ever says that.

So being me, I Googled "my hind titty" and came up with SUCKING HIND TITTY instead. Hmmm... well it's STILL a hind titty and that's the important part. But I'm thinking, what the heck, maybe I did invent the phrase. It wouldn't be the first time and Lord willing it won't be the last time.

I found this cool list of other great phrases and since all the best phrases have Southern roots, I thought I'd pass it along. Enjoy! My favorites include:
1. He's so cheap he could squeeze the buffalo off a nickle and ride it out of town
2. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth. (That woman can talk.)
3. Time to paint your butt and run with the antelope. (Stop arguing and do as you're told.)
4. 'Went to get her face lifted but broke the crane' (Comment on my moms golddigger friend). [That reminds me of the old joke about Gloria Vanderbilt's penchant for facelifts: to wit if she had one more she'd have a goatee!]
5. You can't polish a turd. (Self-explanatory.)
6. "All wind and no stink" a fart that is loud, but not offensive, or a person who talks a lot but doesn't do anything.
7. If yer waitin' fer me yer walkin' backwards.
8. Slicker than cat shit on linoleum [I say 'slicker than owl shit'!]
9. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit"-used to express shock or surprise
10. "Her ass looks like two pigs wrestling in a gunny sack" (for a fat woman wearing tight clothes)


I love stuff like that, but I think it's time to stop...for now!

3 comments:

Lainey said...

Hey TG, that's a new one on me. I've never heard it and I've lived in these parts all my life.

Can't wait to put it to use at the salon!

Hope you survive the exercise nazis!

Take Care

TxGoodie said...

Well, I just don't know, Lainey...I've used it for YEARS now and really thought it was not all THAT odd. The funniest part was Nazi Cori actually HAS a hind titty of sorts...she had me feel this HUGE something on her right shoulder area and it shocked me so much I dropped my hand and exclaimed "YOU DO have a hind titty!"....of course she went into peals of hysterical laughter (she's easily amused!). I did tell them about my mom who had a rather large mole between her breasts and supposedly a doctor told her it was most likely a 3rd boobie that never made the cut, so to speak. It wasn't EXACTLY between the real deals, but close enough to make one wonder... remember Art Linkletter....he said it best....PEOPLE ARE FUNNY...

Attila The Mom said...

Hahahaha! These were brilliant!