Saturday, August 05, 2006

My Hind Titty

I'm currently going to cardic rehab aka exercise therapy 3 days a week. The two gals in charge aka the Exercise Nazis seem to get a kick out of my constant whimpering and complaining that they're trying to kill me. (Despite their best efforts to that end I'm actually not dying and feeling better and stronger every week!).

I was on the bike deal and Nazi Cori accidentally bumped into me while taking the B.P. of the gal next to me. Cori said something about her big rear and without even thinking about it I said "Big rear? My hind titty!".....well she fell over laughing and then went on to say she'd never heard such a thing. She checked with all her pals and got back to me with the verdict that *I'd* made that phrase up and there was no such thing. I said it was a Texas saying and it meant something to the effect of "oh, yeah?", "as if", "not likely", etc. Again she said I made it up as no one ever says that.

So being me, I Googled "my hind titty" and came up with SUCKING HIND TITTY instead. Hmmm... well it's STILL a hind titty and that's the important part. But I'm thinking, what the heck, maybe I did invent the phrase. It wouldn't be the first time and Lord willing it won't be the last time.

I found this cool list of other great phrases and since all the best phrases have Southern roots, I thought I'd pass it along. Enjoy! My favorites include:
1. He's so cheap he could squeeze the buffalo off a nickle and ride it out of town
2. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth. (That woman can talk.)
3. Time to paint your butt and run with the antelope. (Stop arguing and do as you're told.)
4. 'Went to get her face lifted but broke the crane' (Comment on my moms golddigger friend). [That reminds me of the old joke about Gloria Vanderbilt's penchant for facelifts: to wit if she had one more she'd have a goatee!]
5. You can't polish a turd. (Self-explanatory.)
6. "All wind and no stink" a fart that is loud, but not offensive, or a person who talks a lot but doesn't do anything.
7. If yer waitin' fer me yer walkin' backwards.
8. Slicker than cat shit on linoleum [I say 'slicker than owl shit'!]
9. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit"-used to express shock or surprise
10. "Her ass looks like two pigs wrestling in a gunny sack" (for a fat woman wearing tight clothes)


I love stuff like that, but I think it's time to stop...for now!

Friday, August 04, 2006

Goodbye My Friend




I'm bummed. A friend of mine has passed away. She was quite a character. She leaves behind a very nice husband and two young adults children and a host of friends. I didn't always agree with her, but I always ended up making her laugh. She was quite the community activist in our little world and she'll be sorely missed because she had a mind like a steel trap and she wasn't shy about telling the cow how to eat the cabbage. She was generous and we used to fight about who'd pick up the tabs. She ended up winning more times than I liked, but she was not one to expect something in return for any favor. Everytime I spoke to her she'd ask about my dog, my youngest daughter and my "adopted" sons. She was ill the last year or so and had to drastically curtail her activites, but anytime we'd talk she'd say when she got to feeling better we'd go to lunch. The good Lord has seen to it that now she feels better. Rest in peace, Dora, until we meet again.

Houston-area School Called 'Persistently Dangerous'

KHOU.com | News for Houston, Texas | Local News / Houston:

10:04 AM CDT on Friday, August 4, 2006

By JENNIFER RADCLIFFE / The Houston Chronicle

The suburban, middle-class Cypress-Ridge High School is the first Houston-area campus to be deemed “persistently dangerous,” an emotionally-charged label that it earned, in part, for reporting a high number of drug violations.

The suburban, middle-class Cypress-Ridge High School is the first Houston-area campus to be deemed “persistently dangerous,”

Much to the chagrin of Cypress-Fairbanks district leaders, the high school is one of just five Texas schools to make this year’s list. Fewer than 40 U.S. schools were deemed dangerous last year.

“The label ‘persistently dangerous’ is a totally inaccurate reflection of the learning environment at Cypress Ridge,” district spokeswoman Kelli Durham said.

Under the federal No Child Left Behind law, each state has developed a method for designating persistently dangerous schools. Schools tagged with the moniker must notify parents and allow students to transfer to another school within the district. So far, about 90 students have given notice they plan to leave Cypress-Ridge before classes resume Aug. 16.

In Texas, schools are considered persistently dangerous if they report three or more mandatory expulsion incidents per 1,000 students in each of the previous three years. The rules give equal weight to alcohol violations, assaults, arson and murder.

Cypress-Fairbanks leaders said their school is being unfairly targeted for aggressively tracking every on-campus violation and for encouraging students to report crime. Other schools with far more notable instances didn’t appear on the latest list, which tracks crimes from 2002 to 2005.

Nearly 80 percent of the 41 instances that Cypress-Ridge reported in the last three years were drug violations, Durham said. In 70 percent of the cases, a student reported the infraction either through CrimeStoppers or to an adult on campus, she said.

Among the remaining nine incidents was one case of arson and possession of illegal weapons, including knives and brass knuckles.

In a majority of the drug cases, students were caught with a few Xanex or Adderall pills, Durham said. Those medications are used to treat anxiety and attention deficit disorder, respectively, but some students abuse them without a prescription. Students who have a medical reason for taking those medications are supposed to leave them with the school nurse and those who don’t face disciplinary action, Durham said.

“The district questions whether No Child Left Behind had that in mind,” she said. “Someone who has one or two pills in their pocket is not like aggravated assault or carrying a weapon.”

To help address its drug problems, the 87,000-student district will start random testing of teenagers who compete in sports and academic events when school resumes this month. They’re also increasing surveillance at Cypress-Ridge and continuing other anti-drug initiatives, Durham said.

School administrators are infamous for grossly underreporting campus violence, he said. This national watch list, which Trump calls the “Scarlet Letter” of education, had many systematic flaws. Most states, for instance, set the required crime level so high that schools face virtually no threat of ever reaching the limit, he said.

“The reality is, in most cases, a situation like Columbine wouldn’t qualify a school to be on the list,” he said.
Parents certainly shouldn’t take this list - which also includes schools in La Joya, Laredo and Donna to be indicative of the most troubled campuses in the state, experts said.

Schools are expected to be honest on these reports, though there is little oversight. Still, administrators who don’t report all their infractions could face criminal action if the Texas Education Agency discovers the misreporting, spokeswoman DeEtta Culbertson said.

“It’s like any government document, the superintendent’s signing off on it and saying it’s accurate and true,” she said. “We depend on the schools to be accurate.”

---------->> my turn...

Wow! My kids all went to and graduated from Cypress Creek HS also in the Cy-Fair ISD and it was mentioned one time on a national list as one of the XX most "snobbist" schools and I'll vouch for that. It's a prime example of the kids driving better/newer cars than the teachers too. And if Jr. wraps his ride around a telephone pole on Friday night (and it doesn't kill his dumb ass), daddy just rushs out Saturday to get him something new so he can drive to school Monday with nary a care.

The article was right on about Cy-Fair keeping a lid on "things"....they HATE for word to get out that drugs are in the schools and all's not right with their world. And yet when my kiddies transferred into this district we learned right away that kids are guilty until proven innocent and once you're "labeled" you'll never be reclassified in their little narrow minds.

I wonder if they can blame the Cy-Ridge problems on the evacuee kids? The school itself is not very old and I'm frankly shocked at this whole enchilada.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Who Would You Like In The Cell With You?


I'm hoping I'll never do anything that causes me to be incarcerated.

I'm SURE I'm just not suited for the slammer. For one thing my mugshot would look awful, for another I look horrible in orange and even worse in a jumpsuit!

I did get to thinking who I'd like in the cell with me IF they put males and females together...... I'd wouldn't mind spending some time with this one......... even if he is a loser.........


I'd probably end up with THIS one though....









Or even worse, THIS one! Yikes!










Johnny Depp's mugshot is my all-time favorite "movie star" bad-boy pose.

Who's Being Abused At Gitmo?

"The ones being abused are our troops...."

The stories coming out are beyond offensive.

...the Defense Department has documented hundreds of attacks by Guantanamo detainees on Military Police guards since 2002, ranging from head butting and spitting to routine dousing with cups filled with feces, urine, vomit and sperm.

The guards also have been repeatedly grabbed, punched or assaulted by prisoners who reach through small "bean holes" used to deliver food and blankets through cell doors, the reports say...
I LOVE the graphic that accompanied the article so much I stole it!